Don't Let 'Em Go

I have a bunch of scripts for the pilots that got picked up by the US nets for the fall. I'm still working my way through the reading. But leafing through I've noticed a trend toward the beefy opening act.

Sometimes the script labels this section Teaser, sometimes Act One, but by and large they are long. Short is eight pages. But most are upwards of 10. 12, 13, 14 pages seems to be the norm for a Teaser/Act One. A couple of the scripts have 17, 18 page openings. Only one of the nearly dozen scripts has an anemic, traditional 3 page teaser.

If you've got an audience to tune in, why let them go? Keep them watching as long as possible before giving them a break in the action.

Act One of the pilot script for Pushing Daisies is 18 pages long.

Fucking Bollocking Twat Fuck

The airing of a pilot is your big chance to hook in an audience for your series. In the week or so before broadcast, the show has had it's launch publicity and tonight's the night people are going to check it out. And by the time the titles or the first commercial break rolls around, the viewers are going to decide whether to stick around for the rest of the episode or change channels. And if they change channels now, the chances of getting them back ever are pretty slim. A lot rides on those opening minutes. So how do you make 'em count?

One of my favourite series of 2007 thus far is the British series Skins. The opening scenes of the pilot, entitled "Tony" and written by Bryan Elsley, are absolutely fabulous.

The show opens with a 30 second title sequence that is all shots of characters and ends with the series title "Skins".

The first shot of the first episode is close on eyes which pop open, awake, as the camera slowly pulls out to reveal a teenage boy in bed as church bells ring in the distance. His alarm goes off and he flicks on some music as he springs into action, doing his dips, chin ups and bicep curls in only his tight white underpants, his face expressionless. His first smile appears as he surveys his image in the mirror.

That sequence takes 37 seconds and it's all about character.

A teenage girl looking bedraggled in her smudged makeup and short skirt walks up the street.

In his bedroom, our teenage boy's watch alarm sounds. He stations himself at the bedroom window and looks out. In the window across the street, a woman allows her white robe to drop to the floor, revealing her naked back. She glances out the window; she knows our boy is watching.

On the street, the girl glances up at the woman's window and then at his. She stops, arms crossed, staring up at his window. Is she a pissed off girlfriend?

No, actually. She waves, trying to distract him as the naked woman turns in his direction providing a good front view. Below the young girl finally attracts his attention.

The boy turns to his stereo, cranking the volume higher, higher, higher still, smiling with satisfaction in the direction of his bedroom door, behind which we can barely make out a male voice: "Tony! Tony!"

Tony, the teenage boy, signals to the girl below and she lunges for the front door. An irate looking 40-something male wearing nothing but red boxers storms into Tony's room, yelling to be heard over the music.

"Sorry," says Tony, pretending to fiddle with the remote, "the volume's busted."

"Every fucking morning!" spurts his furious father. Meanwhile the young hottie is sneaking up the stairs, into her bedroom, peeling off her clubbing clothes and slipping into her demure English school girl uniform.We're not done yet.

Tony is now sitting on the toilet reading Sartre's Nausea as his father knocks on the bathroom door begging to be let in. Tony smiles mildly as he flushes, brushes and goes out the window, leaving the bathroom door locked and his father pounding and cursing on the other side.

Tony's Father
You fucking bollocking twat fuck. How come I'm
never allowed to use my own sodding bathroom?

Tony climbs down to street level, pauses to smile at the now-dressed woman from across the street and lets himself into the house.

In the kitchen, Mom is making eggs. His sister, now every inch the innocent school girl, nibbles toast. Dad, still ranting about getting into the bathroom, steps into the kitchen and stops dead when he sees Tony.

The lock is broken again, Tony claims mildly, as his father stares at him with mounting hatred.

By this time, you couldn't pay me to turn off this show. And the interesting thing about this opening is that none of it has anything to do with what follows. Tony's parents and sister don't have any significance in the series until a much later episode. This one has more to do with Tony's scheme to get Sid -- who we haven't even met yet -- laid.

Tony
Who's stupid enough to fuck Sid?

Michelle
Cassie.

Sid
She's still in hospital.

Michelle
No, she's not. They let her out. She's just not allowed to handle knives.

Instead of establishing story, the writer has opted to devote the first three and three quarter minutes of the pilot to setting up character. And he has done so beautifully.

Sid
What would you do if everything's so fucked up and you just don't know what to do?

Cassie
I stop eating till they take me to hospital.

(Btw, I couldn't find a picture of Bryan Elsley. If anyone can link me up to one, I'd love to add it in.)

Skins - Tony

John From Cincinnati Part 1

I don't get it. Yet. But I'm willing to invest some time and effort because after all this is David Milch.

Half a dozen scenes into my first viewing of the pilot for John from Cincinnati, written by David Milch and Kem Nunn, I put down my pen and paper and decided to just try to absorb the show. And it's going to take me quite a few more viewings to truly make sense of it structurally, thematically, storywise.

If this were an episode of a show on a conventional network, I believe the first six scenes would be the teaser. But this HBO and there are no commercial breaks to guide my breakdown. These first few scenes amazingly well-crafted. You meet most of the main players, learn a great deal about the storylines and themes that will presumably run through the series and never feel like you're getting back story. I hope to break down the whole show, but until I do, here are my thoughts on the opening sequence.

John from Cincinnati begins with the titles. Once they are out of the way, it's strictly story without interruption till the closing credits

The opening shot is the headlights of an SUV as it moves through low scrubby hills toward us. Linc (Luke Perry) gets out and walks toward the beach. In the distance we see Mitch Yost (Bruce Greenwood) surfing. Linc continues down the beach, John (Austin Nichols) appears behind him and utters the first line of dialogue for the entire series: "The end is near." Something tells me we've just been alerted to a major theme.

"Hey man, my brother," replies Linc, pointing out a number of people running past in the distance, "those illegals act like it's another day at the beach." What does this tell us? That we're near the Mexican border, yes. But I suspect the line and the immigrants are present to put us in the mind of the word "aliens" and maybe we're supposed to associate said word with John.

Mitch, done surfing, comes up the beach, board under his arm. (Is this the moment to mention Bruce Greenwood's six pack? He definitely looks every inch the aging surfer dude.)

John starts heading toward Mitch. Linc is amazed that he knows him. John replies that "Mitch Yost should get back in the game." And repeats almost the same words in a slightly different order to Mitch. Mitch and Linc think the game John is referring to is competitive surfing. We know better. Linc has already cottoned on to the fact that John is unusual because he's making finger circles at his temple to let Mitch know that John is a whack job.

We're just a minute and a half into the episode, but the question has already been raised, is John an alien or insane? So it's time for the writers give us some information about Mitch. That comes with his first lines. To John: "You should mind your own business." And to Linc, before Linc has said a word to Mitch, "Go fuck yourself." (The first "fuck" of the series, by the way, with many many to follow in this episode, at least. Milch hasn't lost any affection for the F-word since the demise of Deadwood.)

As Mitch walks away, Linc turns to John. Just in case John isn't crazy, he warns him to "stay away from the kid", threatening him with harm if he interferes with the deal in progress.

Scene one is two minutes long and we already know a lot. There's a mystery guy (John) who might be crazy or who might be from some place other than earth. We know Mitch is a bitter former surfer and that he and Linc have a history. And we know there's a kid and deal in the making.

Scene two is less deft and information packed. Cissy Yost (Rebecca De Mornay) standing on a pier watching Shaun Yost (Greyson Fletcher) surfing. He must be the kid in question. She calls to a girl running toward the water with her board to tell Shaun to stop by the store later, offering the girl a free bottle of wax for delivering the message. So, Cissy owns a store, presumably a surfing store since she carries a kind of wax that would interest a girl with a surf board. Cissy heads off and a mystery blonde woman moves into her spot to watch Shaun as he waits for the next waves.

Now we go back to the beach. Mitch is heading for his car with Linc at his side making his pitch. Mitch finds a syringe on the ground, picks it up, looks at it with disgust. It could be Butchie's. Mitch simultaneously blames and forgives Linc for Butchie's drug problems with this clever line: "Now he's proven to the world he can fuckup just fine without a sponsor." Several things fall into place: Linc represents sponsors and the source of the tension (or at least part of the tension) between Mitch and Linc is Butchie's drug use.

Linc wants to know if Mitch is going to Huntington to watch his grandson surf. Mitch didn't know the kid was planning to compete, but he won't let him and he won't let Linc "get your fangs in his neck like you did to Butchie." That's when Linc pulls out the DVD that Shaun sent him. The words "Sponsor Me" are scrawled across the front. Linc says, it's going to happen whether Mitch wants it or not. Shaun wants to get signed, he's the real deal and he's a Yost.

Linc's parting words: "Trust the devil you know, Mitch." And now, we know about Linc, he's the devil -- a mundane, nice guy sort of devil or at least the incarnation of commercialism in the surfing world; the guy who signs you. No wonder he drives the big black truck.

Now it's time to meet a few other characters. Outside a very run down motel, Meyer (Willie Garson) is handing up a sold sign as Ramon (Luis Guzman) watches. Meyer doesn't think the new owner is a very pleasant person.

We meet Butchie through his off-screen cry of "mother-fucker" before we see him. It seems Meyer's got him stashed rent free in this derelict motel because Meyer is a huge fan ("Butchie Yost revolutionized surfing, Ramon. He changed the entire idea of it.") Ramon thinks Butchie should be gone before the new owner shows up.

Butchie meanwhile is trying to push his beat up Volkswagen van. Meyer and Ramon attempt to corner him to discuss his moving out but Butchie ducks into his motel room claiming that he needs to take a "horrendous dump."

While Meyer pleads Butchie's case to Ramon, Ramon leads Meyer over to a huge pile of trash. He wants the lawyer's help in cleaning it up before the new owner arrives. Me thinks these two are the cleanup crew.

Meanwhile, inside his filthy motel room, Butchie Yost shoots up.

Back at the beach, Mitch stows his board in his car and takes out a big jug of fresh water. He pours the water over his head to wash away the salt. And then something strange happens. He lifts off. He looks down at his feet. They are a few inches above the ground. There he is, next to his old paneled station wagon, hanging in mid-air.


And that is where I would have put the act break to end a great tease. We're six and half minutes in and we've met some incredibly memorable characters and gotten a lot of back story effortlessly. We've got a pretty good idea that the show is not going to fit nicely into any genre. And I for one, was ready to commit to the full hour.

The Sopranos Finale

I know. It's a blog about pilots, but how can I resist a finale now and then? So here's my breakdown of the twenty-first episode of the sixth season of the Sopranos, written by David Chase.

Because The Sopranos is produced for HBO and airs there without commercial breaks, it's not easy to discern act breaks and curtains. Nor are they important to the structure. Maybe that's why when I watch an episode of The Sopranos I never feel the structure. I always have the sense Chase is doing something very different than the rest of us. That's why breaking down the last episode was so informative for me.

The way I read it, there were many storylines through the episode: A. The situation with Phil, B. A.J. and his depression, C. the extended family (Bobby's death, Janice's future, Uncle Junior), D. Paulie, E. Meadow and her future and finally the thing we all wanted to know about, F. Tony's future. Maybe these aren't the plotlines as they saw them in the writer's room, certainly lumping all the extended family scenes (Bobby's funeral, Janice scenes and Junior scenes) into one group and calling them a sub-plot is pushing it, as is naming a sub-plot "the future". And you could easily argue that A.J.'s story is really the A, but in the absence of the writer to explain his thinking, you're stuck with my guesses.

Beat by beat:

• We open with Tony waking in the bed where we left him at the end of the last episode, assault weapon on hand. (A-story)
• With Paulie at his side, Tony tries to solve his problem by appealing to the FBI for help. (A, D)
• Tony visits Carmella and the kids at the house where they are staying. (B, E)
• Bobby's funeral - almost a mundane community event in its normalcy, A.J.'s continuing problems and where Paulie is at. (F, B, D)

• Back at the hide-out, Tony is avoiding going to see Syl. (A)
• Phil gives orders to his men by phone. (A)
• Tony talks to Janice about her future. (C)
• The FBI tips off Tony that Phil is making his call from a gas station pay phone. (A)
• Tony's men start cruising by gas stations looking for phones. (A)
• A.J. blows up his SUV. (B)

• Tony reams out A.J., the family is at odds. (B)
• An FBI wire tap picks up Tony trying to set up a meeting to end the Phil situation. (A, F)
• Carmine, Tony et al sit down. (A)
• The family moves home. (A)
• Paulie doesn't like that cat. (D)
• Looking for gas stations with phones. (A)
• Janice visits Uncle Junior. (C)
• Junior's pal pressures Tony to visit his uncle. (C)
• A.J. tells his shrink that the car fire "cleansed" him. (B)

• Paulie at the now empty BaddaBing calls Tony: Carlo disappeared. (F)
• Carmella talks to Meadow's old ne'er-do-well friend, now a med student. (E)
• Meadow's boyfriend's family is over for dinner, Meadow is going to be a lawyer. (E)
• The cat likes Chrissy's photo. Tony offers Paulie a business opportunity. (D)
• Looking for Phil. (A)
• A.J. is going to join the army. (B)
• Carmella learns about A.J.'s plan. (B)
• Carmella and Tony meet with A.J.'s therapist. Tony talks about his mother's influence on him.(B)
• Meadow reveals how Tony influenced her career choice. (E)
• Phil's massively brutal yet comical demise. (A)
• Carmella and Tony offer A.J. an alternative career. (B)

• Tony's lawyer reveals that the FBI are still actively after him. (F)
• Tony visits Syl. (A)
• Paulie doesn't want the new business opportunity, but has his arm twisted. (D)
• A.J. leaves work in a BMW, happy. (B)
• The family is at peace as they decide where to go for dinner.
• Tony goes to see Uncle Junior. (C)
• And then that long, hyper vigilant ending in the diner...


Like most hours, I count somewhere between 40 and 45 beats. More than a quarter are devoted to the A-story and slightly fewer to the B. All the other subplots play out in 4-5 beats with a lot of story separating some of the beats and others coming in pairs. This is the same pattern I've seen in many hourlong series episodes.

And we can see that the main storylines arc out neatly through the episode. The Phil situation is as bad as it can get as we open. Tony works at solving it through the episode until Phil is finally killed. I read Tony's visit to Syl as the tag scene to that story line. One of Tony's henchmen mentions early in the episode that Tonyhas a lot of reasons for not visiting the hospital ("Yesterday it was his gout."), but when Syl is avenged, Tony finally goes.

Likewise, A.J.'s story arcs neatly, he's depressed and stuck in his own silly opinions, his SUV burns and he emerges reborn and ready to join the military, but then accepts his parents' offer of an alternate way out. It tags out ironically with A.J. tooling around happily in his new Beamer.

This little exercise proves to me that David Chase tells a story just like the rest of us, only better. He's got beginnings, middles and ends but the lack of commercial breaks removes the need to bring the drama to four or five crescendos that punctuate the hour. That alone brings a subtlety to the hour. And then there's Chase's brilliance as a story teller, which I dearly hope he'll share with us again soon.

Dirty Sexy Money Pilot Script

I spent the morning on another of the scripts that went to pilot and got picked up for the fall season. Dirty Sexy Money by Six Feet Under screenwriter, Craig Wright, is coming to ABC and CTV. This one is much harder to discuss without spoilers because it's very much about character, but I can give you some stats and structure.

The draft I read was labeled "network draft" and it was still titled with its rather bland original name "The Darlings". I kind of love the new name even though the pilot only really delivers on the money and hints at the dirty. We can only assume there's sex to come.

The script is 59 jam-packed pages plus title page. It with Act One (not a Teaser) and presumably the screenwriter believes that once he's got you, he should hold onto you as long as he can. The act runs a full 14 pages. Act Two is nine pages, Act Three 11, Act Four is 14 pages, Act Five is a mere six pages and Act Six is a mere five pages, perhaps qualifying it as a tease.

The act breaks are a good deal less cliffhangerish than you might expect, but they are clearly tent pole moments in the story. Act One ends with the death of the protagonist's father in flashback. Act Two ends with a flashback to the moment when he accepts the job that we already know he has. Act Three, again in flashback, drops the curtain on the job out of control. As Act Four ends, the reporter interviewing him in the present, accuses him of lying and he turns the tables by establishing that he knows she is lying too. At the end of Act Five it becomes clear that the reporter is a player in all of this in a different way and as the episode ends, the lead must decide whether to launch an investigation that will hurt the family his father spent a lifetime protecting.

There are a lot of characters to introduce and a lot of back story to present because this is going to be one of those arcing series in which many characters play out soapy storylines. The screenwriter uses a very clear structure to introduce the world, the people and the storylines that will develop over season one. The main through line has the protagonist (described economically as "pensive in a perfect suit") being interviewed by a sly reporter. We hear what he tells the reporter and flashback to an alternate version of the events. Through the flashbacks we meet everyone we need to know, first in the 1960s and 70s and then over the last few weeks.

Book ending the interview, at the top and tail of the episode are scenes that set up what we can only imagine is an important continuing storyline about the possible murder of the protagonist's father. Have I given away too much?

The stakes are money, fame and integrity. There's very little jeopardy compared to Viva Laughlin and the lead seems to be a straight up good guy who for reasons we don't entirely believe has given up a life of working for food banks and beleaguered nuns in order to keep a bunch of spoiled rich grown ups out of trouble. But there is mystery to the story, who are these people and why is our guy willing to abandon his own life to coddle them? It's the momentum of the narrative that pulled me in and kept me reading. The voice is breezy and the script is full of easily digestible moments: we know what's coming. The characters are familiar too: the political contender, Paris Hilton, the evil priest, the sexy ex and so on. This familiarity, the way the story seems to meet our expectations is part of what makes the script such an easy read. Also the characters are credible and all seem to have a depth of feeling; we might start to care about them.

There's no action and no sex (although all the women are sexy and men good-looking), but there is something compelling about the lives of the rich and famous and the potential juice of the soapy storylines that are set in motion. If we're lucky it will be a hipper, quirkier version of Dallas, if not, then it'll be Dynasty rehashed. But I will be watching and I'm looking forward to seeing how the script lifts to the screen.

Viva Laughlin Pilot Script

I just read the script for Viva Laughlin, one of the pilots picked up for the fall by CBS and Global. Great script. The script by Huff creator Robert Lowry is a good read, has fabulously well-drawn characters and lots and lots of stakes. I can't wait to watch.

I don't want to give away any of the story or character details, but I do want to get into the structure of the script.

It's 67 pages long. The tease ends a quarter of the way down page 10, which is long for a tease, but once you've got their eyes, why would you let them get away? Act One ends right right at the top of page 22, making it really an 11 page act. Act Two ends halfway down 37, so 14.5 pages. Act Three is the only meaty act at 23 pages and Act Four scrapes in at just 9 pages and then there are 6 and a quarter pages of tag.

The tease sets up a man with a dream and ends with his dream in imminent danger. In the first act it gets worse, but the curtain is a kiss between our protagonist and his wife. The second act ends with a murder, the third with our guy threatened by the devil and his dream slipping away from him. The fourth act ends with his son coming forward with at least part of the solution and the episode ends with our guy, surrounded by family, triumphant.

The show focuses primarily on the protagonist, with very few scenes that don't include him. It hints at a season arc because the murder is unresolved and our guy looks like the best suspect.

The way I read the script, our guy's big dream in danger is the A-Story. The lines involving his wife and each of his kids are the three sub-plots. You might think of the hooks into the season arc as other threads running through.

Here's my haiku-style beat sheet of the action:

Tease
Meet a man who is on top of the world and filled with optimism
Meet his family, he only wants them to be happy but they are not
He gives his son a very generous gift
That he probably can't afford
In addition to his family, he has a big big dream
There are a LOT of problems
He refuses to let them get to him
He's part con-man, part humanitarian, all dreamer
His nemesis shows up with a threat to the dream that he can't ignore

Act One
He runs through the quick fixes, but all are out of the question
The only solutions are impossible
He will not be defeated
He rallies the team
He has a plan
Meanwhile things get more complicated with his daughter
His wife loves him but knows there's a problem. He tells her part of it
Meet the Devil
Our guy's big plan is to get in bed with the Devil
At least he has the love of a good woman behind him

Act Two
Our guy makes his pitch
It's a beauty
Undeniable
The Devil wants in
The Devil wants it all
The Devil is going to take the whole dream away from our guy in two days (tick tick)
Our guy channels his fury at this reversal by adeptly solving the problem his daughter doesn't believe she has
Meanwhile, his wife is having a day
She's worried about him, trying to support him, but he's not at the appointed spot
He's with a woman who's coming on to him
His new plan is to enlist the help of the vixen
She's noncommital
The wife is pissed at being stood up
He spends the night getting drunk
In the morning, he finds his nemesis murdered

Act Three
The vixen accuses our guy of the murder
The police take an interest, our guy squirms
He and his wife fight about all of it
His son overhears the secrets shouted in anger
He pleads for his wife's understanding
The cops make a plan
They try to befriend the wife without success
The vixen is connected to the Devil's henchman
The Devil's henchman visits our guy to remind him that time is up and the screws are about to tighten.

Act Four
Wife tries to make nice but his son wonders if he's a murderer and his daughter slams doors and cries
He makes nice with his daughter, a little con helps her see him as an understanding father
The cops try again and soften the wife just a little
Our guy says a prayer
He can't resist a bet
His son believes in him, at least enough to provide him with a big piece of the solution

Tag
He takes the partial solution from the son and with new self-conviction takes a huge risk that could end it all
And then he takes a huger risk
And wins
Suddenly he's back in the driver's seat.
The vixen is on hold
The Devil gets his pay
The dream comes together
Surrounded by his adoring family, our guy stands triumphant.

Simplicity itself.