Meanwhile, so much is building up that I may have to give up sleep to keep up (thanks for the tip, Bill). But before I comment on Mad Men (omg, Denis, I can't wait) and John from Cincinnati (Will is keeping the discussion warm), I have to finish with the pilot of Jekyll.
I wanted to discuss the rising tension in the pilot, but my first post on it got way too long. So here's what I found when I broke it down:
Time is an essential part of how tension is built in this show. Not surprisingly then, the first shot of the series is of a ticking clock. It doesn't create tension for us yet, but it will when we form an em
The tease and first act are fairly flat in terms of jeo
Then the tension drops again for the top of act two.
Two sequences into the act, we learn that Hyde is due in twenty minutes. Still Jackman is determined to pursue a clue in the mystery of who is following him. This leads us into a long mid-act sequence of tension that keeps turning. Each turn seems to crank the stakes a little higher.
And when the knife is literally at Jackman's throat and we feel like things can't get any worse, Hyde appears. The heat keeps rising.
The sequence which follows is long, funny, tense and violent. The tension here is the product of a couple of marriages of opposites. Toward Hyde himself, I feel both a revulsion and fascination. He is funny and good-looking, but vicious and the nemesis of Jackman with whom I've finally bonded. And then there's the situation. We want this bullying kid dealt the blow he deserves but we know that wanting that is wrong. We sit at the edge of our seats anticipating that violence.
And after it comes, after this long long mid-second act sequence of high tension, Moffat brings us relief in the form of a drink at the local pub, a good-looking woman and some comedy.
Even though, he plays the rest of the act and most of 
Now Jackman's worst fears are realized; Hyde's next target may not be some (semi-) deserving punk. This time it may be the innocents.
Most of the fourth act plays with time and toys with our emotions in order to achieve another long, agonizing sequence of tension.
But when we finally have the answers that relieve that tension, Moffat turns up the heat one last time. The dams break on Jackman's anger and we realize that the rest of the series will be a battle between the two men who inhabit the same body.
What we have is a long long section of tension in the middle of the long long second act. And then a sense of growing danger held at bay with comedy through the rest of act two right up to the third act curtain. The fourth act is one long agonizingly drawn out sequence of tension and fear until almost the end.
Thinking back, it's that long second act sequence of action and drama that bonded me to the series. The plot kept turning and the stakes kept getting higher. It was a powerful viewing experience and left me dying for the next installment.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Time + Emotion - Jekyll Part 2
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
If Jackman Gets a Hard On, I'm It: Jekyll
Perhaps I have sufficiently conveyed to you my admiration of Jekyll. Now down to business:
The pilot episode, written by Steven Moffat, is laid out in a teaser and four acts and as Anonymous pointed out, it's the pilot for a short-lived miniseries and not for an ongoing series. For that reason it's quite different than many of the other pilots I've posted about.
No, it doesn't apply to what most Canadian writers are doing to respond to the demand (?) from our broadcasters. Our marketplace wants stand alone episodes of unarced series. Miniseries are out of fashion here.
But maybe this is what we should be doing. Maybe an intense six part series is exactly what we should be doing. It seems to me that our audience could commit to a whole six hours of programming. And it's certainly the kind of event television that would fulfill cultural mandates (if those still exist under the current government); drawing the audience into a shared experience. But never mind all that.
Even though this pilot sets up a miniseries, there are very specific lessons to take away from it and to add to my writing toolbox.
I'm going to focus on these things:
the structure, which shines a light on a new part of this world in every act,
the way the show slowly pulls us from a position of skeptical detachment into one of full emotional connection to the lead character
and, (in my next post) the way the tension builds through the episode.
I'm not going to break the whole thing down, beat by beat, but instead I'll talk more about the shape of the acts,.
The episode has a short Teaser, which I described in a previous post, followed by four acts.
What the Acts Do
Each of these five acts unveils new aspects of the world of Jekyll.
In the Teaser, we learn the rules by which Tom Jackman co-exists with the as-yet-unnamed entity who shares his body.
Act One reveals Jackman's life and the huge sacrifice he's made because of Hyde. We get a hint that the rules between them are breaking down.
Act Two shows us Jackman investigating what he calls his unprecedented condition. Half way through the act, Hyde finally makes his first startling appearance. And now we begin to learn about Hyde's life and his attitude toward Jackman.
By Act Three, we learn Jackman's back story and are introduced to a theory about Hyde's existence.
In Act Four, we learn how big the stakes really are for Jackman and it becomes clear that Hyde is going to fight him for total control of his body and his life.
The act by act turns are quite spectacular when you're watching. Not only does more and more of the world get revealed, but the show begins to reveal itself. The special effects change, increase, intensify. And you are dragged further and further from reality as the fantastic elements of the series are slowly revealed.
And your emotional relationship to the show and characters changes as well.
First Shot, First Line
The show opens on a ticking clock.
The first line comes from Jackman, referring to Hyde:
Act Lengths and The Curtains
Tease: 4 minutes
Act One: 6 minutes
Act Two: 20 minutes
Act Three: 12 minutes
Act Four: 91/2 minutes
The Teaser ends on an image of Hyde's eyes popping open. It's an intriguing moment, rather than one of jeopardy.
Act One ends with a dip to black as Jackman's car pulls away and we are quite certain that Hyde is in the driver's seat (although we don't see him yet). Again, the curtain is more of mystery than it is of danger.
The long, long and very exciting second act ends with a startling display of Hyde's powers which prove that he is not anywhere close to a normal human being. Now we're weirded out and we can't look away, but it isn't a cliff-hanger; nothing is hanging in the balance, except what is at stake for the entire series: Jackman's life (and maybe reality as we know it).
Act Three ends with an enormous cliffhanger. Characters we've come to know may or may not be dead or injured and innocent lives may be in danger. The stakes have gotten huge.
The episode ends with Jackman declaring war on Hyde. The stakes are huge, but the events in this episode are clearly complete. We have been reminded of the continuing story threads earlier in the act, but as the curtain falls what we have before us on the screen are Jackman's intense emotions, his determination to protect what is dear to him from the other man inside his body. It is not a hard cliffhanger like the one at the end of the Burn Notice pilot or any episode of Heroes. Instead it's an ending that closes off a story but drives you toward the next beginning.
The Viewer's Emotional Thru-Line
The teaser introduces us to Dr Tom Jackman and Katherine Reimer, the psychiatric nurse he's hired as his minder. Watching the tease, we share Reimer's detached p.o.v. and feel maybe even more than a little skeptical about the drama Jackman's laying on. Even as the act ends, with the startling moment when Hyde's bloodshot eyes pop open, we don't feel any sense of danger, just clinical interest. We definitely want to see what's coming next, but our emotions haven't been sucked into it yet.
In Act One, we meet Jackman's family, see that his wife and kids love him and the agony he feels at his forced separation from them. His emotion brings in ours. By the end of the act, when he seems in physical pain as he tries to prevent Hyde from making an unscheduled appearance in front of his wife, we are sympathetic toward Jackman, even if we aren't quite sure whether his fear is warranted.
Act Two continues to build Jackman's reality and our empathy for him. Then comes the sequence when he visits the private detective and suddenly we are in Jackman's shoes with him. It's all as new and bewildering to him as it is to us. It's taken the tease plus one and half acts to get us to the point where we're seeing the world through Jackman's eyes; what a perfect time to put him in physical danger.
Boom. Hyde bursts out.
First fag of the day always hits the spot.
And Moffat toys with our emotions here. Because we hate this punk with the knife who's been bullying Jackman and want to see him put in his place. So yay for the appearance of the cavalry in the form of Hyde. And he's funny. And larger than life. And maybe, kind of appealing. But out of control. Too violent. Scary.
And what do those special effects signify? We're not quite ready to accept the implications.
And by the end of the act, the jury's still out on Hyde. He's a complicated character and we're not sure how to feel. But one thing's certain; reality has slipped away and we're in a world of unprecedented possibilities.
We're already exhausted by the time the curtain goes up on Act Three and so is Jackman. Now that Moffat has revealed to us how distant from our reality he's prepared to take us, he's ready to give us some back story. We fully appreciate why Jackman has that deer in the headlights look about him and know that his level of anxiety is justified. In fact, we begin to suspect that maybe he's not quite fearful enough. And that's when we get hit with the first truly scary act break.
Act Four is a web of filmic tension, the sweet agony of horror. Along with Jackman, we know that worst may have happened. We want to look, we don't want to look. The identification with Jackman is complete. And when he freaks out we know he's justified. And when he finally declares war on Hyde, we applaud him.
The Third Act Statement of Theme
Isaac Ho, over at the Script Enabler, tells us to look for a statement of theme in the third act and here it is about the 41 minute mark:
How often in this world does the sun rise on something completely
new? And how often do we mistake a miracle for a monster?
That's enough for today. Next time, the patterns of escalating tension through this pilot.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Veronica Mars
Burn Notice (BN) made me want to go back and look at my notes on the Veronica Mars (VM) pilot written by series creator Rob Thomas. I think I've broken down the show at least twice and I've certainly watched many times. I've also read the script which is quite different that the produced episode and avaible on Rob Thomas's website.
The episode of Veronica Mars I'm referring to in this post is the extended pilot that comes on the DVD of the first season. Like the broadcast version of the first episode of BN, it runs longer than a normal hour.
Compared to Burn Notice
There's a lot of similarities between the shows these pilots set up. Most importantly, they are both shows that will feature a complete mystery every week and will tantalize you with some shocking detail about a larger season long mystery. Both shows a lot of narration and neither takes itself too seriously.
Both pilots are premise pilots.
But the screenwriters went about setting up their formats very differently. BN set up the series premise in the teaser and didn't get to the weekly mystery B-story till mid-way through the second act. VM gets to the weekly mystery right off the bat and gives us ever so teensy a clue about the premise.
Beats
Whereas I didn't dare give you the beat count for BN because my count was so ridiculously large that I decided it was better to ignore it. I'd like to stick with the theory that an hour has somewhere between 40 and 45 beats and ignore any sample that contradicts me. (You should know that in case you think I'm a reliable source on anything, because I'm not.)
I got 44 beats for VM. I broke it down into five story lines. Four of them are arcing lines that will play out over the season and one is the weekly mystery.
(Here's the convention I'm using for lettering the storylines in a premise plot. The A-story is always the larger arcing storyline (A for Arc, get it?). Chances are, when you're writing an episode of the series further on down the season, the weekly mystery will be the A-story and the arcing longer story will drop down in importance to a B- or a C-. But with a premise pilot, the arc is usually the most important story you're telling.
I will designate the weekly or episode story -- the one that's going to give this episode it's satisfying ending -- the B-story.
The tough thing for today's purposes is that VM had more than one arcing story. So for today, those other stories are going to be C, D and E. )
The five story lines:
A. Who killed Lily Kane? - 16 beats
B. Weevil's war on Wallace. - 16 beats
C. Who raped Veronica Mars? - 2 beats
D. Why did Duncan Kane dump Veronica? - beats
E. Where's Mom? - 2 beats
Char. Character moments - 6 beats
Whether C through E are really stories or mere runners or really part of the A-story is debatable, but that's how I did it.
The episode uses a fair amount of flashback. I have indicated in brackets (fb) where it occurs. (The whole first and half the second act are actually one long flashback from the teaser, but I am not including that in my FB designation.)
Here's my breakdown:
TEASER:
A, Char, B
(more after the video of the teaser)....
ACT ONE - 12 beats:
B, Char, Char, D (fb), B (fb), B, Char (fb), Char, A, B, A, A (fb)
ACT TWO - 9 beats
A, B, A (fb), A, A (fb), A, B, C (fb), B
ACT THREE - 12 beats
E, E (fb), B, B, A, Char, A, B, B, B, B, A
ACT FOUR
A, B, C (fb), B, B, B, Char, B, Char, B
Structure
There are lots of clustered story beats, particularly when it comes to the B-story.
Act One: Lots of character up front with a focus on the B-story and a burst of A at the end.
The nine beat second act is short and almost entirely devoted to the A-story, with just two little B beats to keep it alive.
Act Three is the same length as One and is mostly B-story with a little A sprinkled through. The two E beats at the beginning are very strong character moments that set up the story about Veronica's missing mother (Logan teases Veronica and Duncan stops him and a flashback to mom leaving).
Act Four has a lot of B with a couple of character beats interspersed and A beats book ending the act.
Curtains
Like BN, the act curtains aren't moments of extraordinarily high stakes:
The act break for the Teaser comes after Veronica's car is surrounded by a not-that-tough-looking motorcycle gang. Weevil (who we're just meeting, remember and could, possibly be evil) asks "trouble, miss?"
The first act curtains with Veronica's memory of her dad trying to send Celeste Kane's husband to jail.
The second act ends with Jake coming out of the Camelot Motel as Veronica snaps pictures.
The third act is the most dramatic of them all: Veronica discovers that the car from outside the Camelot Motel is registered to her mother.
And then the big moment of jeopardy at the end of the show that is designed to pull you back next week: Veronica arrives back at the motel room, but her mother isn't there.
Why It Works
Of course what happens between the curtains -- a missing mother, a dead cheerleader, a rape -- is so juicy, you don't need the high stakes curtains.
Plus Rob has taken the time to build a great cast of characters that are well drawn from word go, especially the title character and he devotes plenty of episode time to develop them and let you get to know them.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Life on Mars Times Two
I've just finished reading the two pilot scripts for Life on Mars. One was the 2005 "Amended Pink" draft of the British original, written by co-creators Tony Jordan, Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah. The other was the 2007 first draft of the American remake written by David E Kelley and Stu Moss.
("Amended Pink" sounds like one of those drafts producers like to get for free, the revised second draft or the first draft polish.)
The two scripts are incredibly similar. Character names, descriptions and the entire story line of the pilot are the same in both. Many scenes are identical, but for the removal of the heavy British slang in the original, an updating for the technology (blackberries and Google Earth) and some streamlining of the story (which is quite effective for such a small touch).
Life on Mars, if you don't know, is the story of a modern day cop who somehow finds himself back in 1972. I had seen some episodes of the British original but it never grabbed me too much. The dilemma of being back in time was interesting, but I found it emotionally bleak. And emotions that I didn't think were earned. There's a lot of cops punching cops without much build up and men and women getting attracted to each other rather quickly and without reason. It seemed to me at the time.
I may or may not have sort of fast forwarded through a few episodes to try to find out if Sam got back to the future but by now, I don't even remember. I just didn't connect with the story emotionally and didn't end up committing.
But reading the script, I was much much more sucked in oddly. In fact, I read the British version first, the produced version of which I hadn't particularly enjoyed. On paper, I felt the jeopardy and was pulled along with the momentum and emotion of the story which hadn't happened when I watches it. There are a few moments which still don't ring true for me but I enjoyed the read.
The Americanized version is an even faster read, because some of the sub-plotting is gone. But what remains is very similar right down to scene structure and plenty of the dialogue.
I guess the point is very little about this premise needed changing for it to work in the American market. Or maybe that's wrong, because I read that the ABC version of the series is on hold.
Below, a two part video interview with the creators of the original series in which they tell how every broadcaster in the country turned them down, sometimes more than once.
The writers talk about creating the show.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Reaper Pilot Script
I love Reaper. I love it. It's written by Michele Fazekas and Tara Butters. What I read is an unnumbered draft dated in December and is clearly not a production draft. No scene numbers. I had to count them: 45ish (accounting for my margin of error). A fast fun read with lots of laughs setting up what looks like a very fun series.
It's a premise pilot. And a terrific one at that.
And it has a measly little three page teaser (which I personally think they should lose, because why start on a fantasy sequence inside a computer game when the first act is so great and has such a great curtain that no viewer in his right mind would change the channel).
The story that the episode tells is funny and original. The characters are precise, their dialogue sharp. There are several action sequences which manage to be simultaneously comedic and cool. And what a great premise.
Here are some stats:
66 pages
Teaser plus five acts.
Teaser: 3 pages
Act 1: 16 ¾ pages
Act 2: 7 pages
Act 3: 11 ¼ pages
Act 4: 8 ¼ pages
Act 5: 18 pages
You'll note that the act lengths are very uneven. That's because they are situated where the best curtains are.
The script is written in a nice breezy way with a fair amount of action interspersed with the dialogue. In fact, quite rare is the page without 4, 5, 6 lines of action and frequently there is a lot more. There are at least 19 pages in which there is either more action than dialogue or there are approximately equal amounts of each.
I hope to write more about this one when I've had a chance to reread it and digest it.
Act One curtain.
I hope to write more about this one when I've had a chance to reread it and digest it.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Dirty Sexy Money Pilot Script
I spent the morning on another of the scripts that went to pilot and got picked up for the fall season. Dirty Sexy Money by Six Feet Under screenwriter, Craig Wright, is coming to ABC and CTV. This one is much harder to discuss without spoilers because it's very much about character, but I can give you some stats and structure.
The draft I read was labeled "network draft" and it was still titled with its rather bland original name "The Darlings". I kind of love the new name even though the pilot only really delivers on the money and hints at the dirty. We can only assume there's sex to come.
The script is 59 jam-packed pages plus title page. It with Act One (not a Teaser) and presumably the screenwriter believes that once he's got you, he should hold onto you as long as he can. The act runs a full 14 pages. Act Two is nine pages, Act Three 11, Act Four is 14 pages, Act Five is a mere six pages and Act Six is a mere five 
pages, perhaps qualifying it as a tease.
The act breaks are a good deal less cliffhangerish than you might expect, but they are clearly tent pole moments in the story. Act One ends with the death of the protagonist's father in flashback. Act Two ends with a flashback to the moment when he accepts the job that we already know he has. Act Three, again in flashback, drops the curtain on the job out of control. As Act Four ends, the reporter interviewing him in the present, accuses him of lying and he turns the tables by establishing that he knows she is lying too. At the end of Act Five it becomes clear that the reporter is a player in all of this in a different way and as the episode ends, the lead must decide whether to launch an investigation that will hurt the family his father spent a lifetime protecting.
There are a lot of characters to introduce and a lot of back story to present because this is going to be one of those arcing series in which many characters play out soapy storylines. The screenwriter uses a very clear structure to introduce the world, the people and the storylines that will develop over season one. The main through line has the protagonist (described economically as "pensive in a perfect suit") being interviewed by a sly reporter. We hear what he tells the reporter and flashback to an alternate version of the events. Through the flashbacks we meet everyone we need to know, first in the 1960s and 70s and then over the last few weeks.
Book ending the interview, at the top and tail of the episode are scenes that set up what we can only imagine is an important continuing storyline about the possible murder of the protagonist's father. Have I given away too much?
The stakes are money, fame and integrity. There's very little jeopardy compared to Viva Laughlin and the lead seems to be a straight up good guy who for reasons we don't entirely believe has given up a life of working for food banks and beleaguered nuns in order to keep a bunch of spoiled rich grown ups out of trouble. But there is mystery to the story, who are these people and why is our guy willing to abandon his own life to coddle them? It's the momentum of the narrative that pulled me in and kept me reading. The voice is breezy and the script is full of easily digestible moments: we know what's coming. The characters are familiar too: the political contender, Paris Hilton, the evil priest, the sexy ex and so on. This familiarity, the way the story seems to meet our expectations is part of what makes the script such an easy read. Also the characters are credible and all seem to have a depth of feeling; we might start to care about them.
There's no action and no sex (although all the women are sexy and men good-looking), but there is something compelling about the lives of the rich and famous and the potential juice of the soapy storylines that are set in motion. If we're lucky it will be a hipper, quirkier version of Dallas, if not, then it'll be Dynasty rehashed. But I will be watching and I'm looking forward to seeing how the script lifts to the screen.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Viva Laughlin Pilot Script
I just read the script for Viva Laughlin, one of the pilots picked up for the fall by CBS and Global. Great script. The script by Huff creator Robert Lowry is a good read, has fabulously well-drawn characters and lots and lots of stakes. I can't wait to watch.
I don't want to give away any of the story or character details, but I do want to get into the structure of the script.
It's 67 pages long. The tease ends a quarter of the way down page 10, which is long for a tease, but once you've got their eyes, why would you let them get away? Act One ends right right at the top of page 22, making it really an 11 page act. Act Two ends halfway down 37, so 14.5 pages. Act Three is the only meaty act at 23 pages and Act Four scrapes in at just 9 pages and then there are 6 and a quarter pages of tag.
The tease sets up a man with a dream and ends with his dream in imminent danger. In the first act it gets worse, but the curtain is a kiss between our protagonist and his wife. The second act ends with a murder, the third with our guy threatened by the devil and his dream slipping away from him. The fourth act ends with his son coming forward with at least part of the solution and the episode ends with our guy, surrounded by family, triumphant.
The show focuses primarily on the protagonist, with very few scenes that don't include him. It hints at a season arc because the murder is unresolved and our guy looks like the best suspect.
The way I read the script, our guy's big dream in danger is the A-Story. The lines involving his wife and each of his kids are the three sub-plots. You might think of the hooks into the season arc as other threads running through.
Here's my haiku-style beat sheet of the action:
Tease
Meet a man who is on top of the world and filled with optimism
Meet his family, he only wants them to be happy but they are not
He gives his son a very generous gift
That he probably can't afford
In addition to his family, he has a big big dream
There are a LOT of problems
He refuses to let them get to him
He's part con-man, part humanitarian, all dreamer
His nemesis shows up with a threat to the dream that he can't ignore
Act One
He runs through the quick fixes, but all are out of the question
The only solutions are impossible
He will not be defeated
He rallies the team
He has a plan
Meanwhile things get more complicated with his daughter
His wife loves him but knows there's a problem. He tells her part of it
Meet the Devil
Our guy's big plan is to get in bed with the Devil
At least he has the love of a good woman behind him
Act Two
Our guy makes his pitch
It's a beauty
Undeniable
The Devil wants in
The Devil wants it all
The Devil is going to take the whole dream away from our guy in two days (tick tick)
Our guy channels his fury at this reversal by adeptly solving the problem his daughter doesn't believe she has
Meanwhile, his wife is having a day
She's worried about him, trying to support him, but he's not at the appointed spot
He's with a woman who's coming on to him
His new plan is to enlist the help of the vixen
She's noncommital
The wife is pissed at being stood up
He spends the night getting drunk
In the morning, he finds his nemesis murdered
Act Three
The vixen accuses our guy of the murder
The police take an interest, our guy squirms
He and his wife fight about all of it
His son overhears the secrets shouted in anger
He pleads for his wife's understanding
The cops make a plan
They try to befriend the wife without success
The vixen is connected to the Devil's henchman
The Devil's henchman visits our guy to remind him that time is up and the screws are about to tighten.
Act Four
Wife tries to make nice but his son wonders if he's a murderer and his daughter slams doors and cries
He makes nice with his daughter, a little con helps her see him as an understanding father
The cops try again and soften the wife just a little
Our guy says a prayer
He can't resist a bet
His son believes in him, at least enough to provide him with a big piece of the solution
Tag
He takes the partial solution from the son and with new self-conviction takes a huge risk that could end it all
And then he takes a huger risk
And wins
Suddenly he's back in the driver's seat.
The vixen is on hold
The Devil gets his pay
The dream comes together
Surrounded by his adoring family, our guy stands triumphant.
Simplicity itself.
Monday, February 12, 2007
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation - Pilot
And now for something completely different…
As much as I love and admire The Wire, it’s not a useful model for most of us. So let’s go now to the opposite end of the spectrum and look at a much watched and completely accessible hour long drama: CSI.
The pilot (which has no name other than "pilot") was written by Anthony Zuiker. I have watched it five or six times now. It is actually the first of a two parter, but we’re going to only look at the first hour now. And you’ll notice it lays down more neatly into acts.
You can read the beat by beat breakdown here.
Although CSI doesn’t feel like a fast paced show, it uses 48 beats in this pilot which is a lot. At least eight of those beats are there mostly to establish the series premise and build the characters of the leads. The remaining beats drive quite a few interwoven stories which form the A, B, C and D stories.
The pilot breaks down into a tease and four acts. The fourth act is long long long at 16 beats. Normally episodes of CSI are the expected tease, four acts and a tag with the tease and tag using 2 beats each and the acts ranging between 7 and 11 beats each – about 40 beats in all. And although the pilot has the squad looking into at least three different cases (the suicide that’s a homicide, the home invasion and the trick roll) as well as following Holly through her first day with includes other cases, a regular episode of the series only features two cases.
What I’m calling the B-story here is the first plot line up. We follow Grissom through his investigation of the suicide that’s really a murder. The plot is only 7 beats. Presumably we start with this minor storyline because it allows a hyped up tease with gunshots and a bloody crime scene. Something to hook you into the series. But after the tease, this plot is pretty much ignored until act 3 where there are a cluster of beats. And the storyline doesn’t truly resolve; the murder is never found, but Grissom brings relief to the family when he informs them that it wasn’t a suicide but a murder (but of course they knew that at the tease curtain when they told him that that wasn’t the victim’s voice on the tape recorded suicide note.)
The A-story is Holly’s first day on the job. It takes 14 beats, dominating act 1 and being the cliff hanger that closes the show. This story plays out quite strongly in every act and involves three of the regulars emotionally (Grissom, Catherine and Warwick). The instinct with pilots is to start at some kind of beginning – the formation of a unit, a first day of school (Veronica Mars), the first game of the season (Friday Night Lights), etc. In this case, the unit is well-established but a minor character is introduced and it is her first day on the job. The audience learns about the world through her. Unfortunately for Holly, she’s dead at the end of the episode.
The C-story is all about Warwick and his home invasion case. It’s a big one with 12 or 13 beats depending on how you look at it. It wraps up with a murderer under arrest.
Finally, the D-story, Nick’s trick roll case is 8 or 9 beats long by my reckoning. It is intro’ed in Act 1, but we never come back to it till Act 2 where we get two more beats. Then another one in three and it really heats up in Act 4.
By Act:
Tease: A, Character, A, A
Act 1: B, B, Character, Char/Premise, C/D, Character, Char/Premise, C, B, B, B
Act 2: D, B, C, B, C, B, D, B, C, C
Act 3: A, B, C, D, C, A, A
Act 4: D, D, D, A, Character, C, C, B, C, Character, C, Character, C, B, D, B
We can see that the beats for some stories appear in clusters and others weave through the entire episode. The A story occurs almost entirely in the Tease and Act 3, while D is focused in Act 4.
It’s amazing that as jam-packed with plotlines as the episode is, there’s still lots of room for scenes that are entirely about the series premise and the characters. And don’t forget, there are also little science scenes and four flashback scenes which help us to understand the theories about what happened and what really did happen. Plus a scene that lasts a full 60 seconds which is just someone looking over a running shoe. It’s quite amazing for a show that feels relaxed in its pacing.
The pilot has four re-enactment/flashbacks and about 9 moments devoted to science, many of them accompanied by some sort of special effect. Regular first season episodes keep up this pace.
The pilot has a number of sexual and violent references to hype it up. There’s the trick roll story line in which a prostitute’s breasts figure quite prominently so to speak. The flashbacks suggest quite strongly that the victim’s face was mashed into them (and he seemed to enjoy it). There’s a scene in which a young girl has to point out what body parts the molester touched and her dolly has a band aid on its crotch. Grissom hits a dummy head with a golf club and blood splatters everywhere. There’s an autopsy with some gruesome cutting and a scene with a lot of corpses in the morgue. One of the lab techs wishes that Grissom would pin her up against a wall. All of these and a few others, send the message that this is going to be a series with a lot of jolts.
One final thing we should touch on are the act breaks. Usually you expect strong cliffhanger curtains, is that what we get here? The tease ends on what we’re calling the A-story and the discovery that it’s not a suicide, but a murder. That moment has to hold your interest for a long time, because we aint coming back to that particular story for another two acts. Act 1 has a soft character curtain. It’s a B-story beat. Holly’s just been scared silly by dead bodies at the morgue and Grissom makes a joke by calling them assholes. End of Act. Act 2 ends with the examination of the running shoe and Warwick’s conclusion that the husband is lying. At the end of Act 3 we’re back on the long lost A-story. Grissom concludes that the killer knows his way around forensics. This is a false cliffhanger if ever I heard one, since we never revisit this question in Act 4. And the episode ends on the team learning that Holly is dead and Warwick is in trouble. We go to black on Grissom’s concerned face. In all these aren’t the hard edgy curtains we expect from mystery series.
Over all, I’m surprised by how many story balls this episode is able to keep in the air, how much time it takes to develop character and the series premise and by how soft the curtains are. The pilot is definitely quite different than a normal episode, offering more stories, more beats, more violent and sexual references and fewer act breaks.
And that is how one of the most successful of the recent tv franchises launched.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Wire - Episode 1: “The Target”
Story by: David Simon & Ed Burns
Teleplay by: David Simon
The first shot is a thin blood trail on pavement.
Detective Jimmy McNulty and an informant discuss the victim’s name: Snot Boogie. The scene seems to be mostly about McNulty’s bemused attitude toward the job. There is no outrage or excitement around the fact that this guy has been shot, it’s just McNulty’s banter with the guy who knew the dead guy. The scene ends with the words “This is America, man.”
The murder and the informant seem to have very little to do with what follow so I can only conclude that this scene is more about character and theme than the story. I figure that they needed something exciting to pull you into the series: a murder. Because the real story starts after the titles.
Titles
“When it’s not your turn.”
Bunk
Every episode begins with a quotation from a character that you’ll hear later in the episode. This is the kind of thing that you can set up in a pilot script and then can have incredible trouble keeping up later on. But The Wire’s pulled it off beautifully every time. Later, Jimmy McNulty will chide his homicide partner Bunk for answering the phone and in so doing catching a homicide case that should have gone to some other detective. That’s what happens when you care when it’s not your turn to care. Of course, the whole episode, the whole first season in fact, is about what results from Jimmy McNulty caring when it’s not his turn.
After titles and quote, we come back to Jimmy, he’s walking through the courthouse with Bunk. Before they part, he warns Bunk not to answer the phone. If he’d only he’d take his own advice. But no. (C-story = Bunk’s decomp)
McNulty heads into a courtroom and sets everything that follows into motion. This is your proverbial inciting incident. McNulty cares when it’s not his turn and goes to watch D’Angelo Barksdale’s trial. It’s not his case, but there he is, laying eyes on Stringer Bell, lanky, smooth and self-confident, also watching D’s trial. The first witness, a male security guard, IDs D’Angelo as the shooter, but the second, a female security guard, maintains quite forcefully that D didn’t do it and she made a mistake when she first identified him. It’s damaging testimony. The scene gives us our first looks at Judge Phelan and a bunch of the Barksdale crew: Stringer and D, Wee Bay, Stinkum and Sarvino. The last three are there to keep up the intimidation on the witnesses. McNulty leans over and compliments Stringer as he leaves the courtroom, serving notice that he’s on to him. (A & B-story – A=formation of the police unit; B=world of the Barksdales and how D ends up in the Pit)Jimmy looks in on the detective who’s case has just been blown in court and tells him that the Barksdale kid just got off. The detective can’t believe it. (Character)
Meet Kima in her car with a witness and the walkie with other detectives on a stakeout. She gives the word. (Character)
Meet Carver and Herc as they take down the perp. Men of action. Herc finds a great big gun in the car. Then Kima comes over and finds a second gun, reminds Herc there are always TWO guns. Kima’s an ace cop. Herc’s a goof. Carver? Somewhere in the middle. (Character)
Back to the courtroom. Phelan gives his judgment as McNulty watches: D is not guilty. (A & B-story)
McNulty heads down a corridor in the courthouse. Someone’s calling his name. The judge wants to talk to him. (A-story)
In chambers, Phelan and Jimmy are old friends, familiar with each other. Jimmy gives us the lowdown on the Barksdale gang: they own the towers, the low rises, the corners and have for a year. They are responsible for a lot of bodies and this is the third case they’ve beaten by intimidating witnesses. Last time, it was Jimmy they beat. Phelan’s pissed that it happened in his courtroom, he’s a new judge and interested in flexing his power. (A-story)
Back at the cop shop Herc and Carver tell us they’re the kind of cops who go out and bust heads. Flex some muscle and show the drug dealers who’s boss. Meanwhile, Kima struggles with paperwork. (Character)
McNulty meets up with Bunk on an investigation. There’s a decomposing corpse. McNulty chastised Bunk for picking up the phone and refuses to help. He heads back to his desk while Bunk prays that the “decomp” in not a murder. (C-story)
Meet Lt Daniels and Major Rawls. Rawls is giving Daniels shit about Avon Barksdale. (Here comes the shit rolling down hill…) Rawl is feeling pressure from Phelan. (A-story)
Daniels hands the case to Kima. Her report is due to tomorrow. When Daniels admits they don’t even have a date of birth on Avon, Kima realizes how tough a case this will be. (A-story)
Meet McNulty’s Sgt. Landsman who sends Jimmy off to see the Major. (A-story)
Rawls gives McNulty the double finger (one for his Irish ass and the other for his eye). Talk about stakes. McNulty’s boss is vowing undying hatred for him and all he did was answering the judge’s questions when asked. But that’s what you get for caring when it’s not your turn. (A-story)
Quick cut of Kima up late typing. (A-story)
Then over to D and Wee Bay in the car, D talking about what happened in court. Wee Bay stops the car and on the sidewalk makes D repeat the rule. “No talking in the car.” It’s an interesting juxtaposition, Rawls with his double fingers up and Wee Bay, in his quiet intense way asking D to just say it. It’s our first hint that maybe the drug dealers and the cops have to deal with similar issues (getting soldiers to keep their mouths shut), but their methods for doing it are different. (B-story)
At the strip club, we meet Avon Barksdale, clearly Stringer’s boss. Stringer tells Avon about McNulty. (B-story)
Avon has a moment alone with Dee. He’s quiet and understated with Dee but very clear in his message: D has to do things differently, be smarter. Again the contrast is striking. Avon seems so civilized and polished compared to the red faced Major and his dealings with Jimmy. Rawls has pledged undying hatred, while Avon pulls his nephew D into a hug and says “it’s love man, it’s family”. (B-story)
McNulty is typing the report on the Barksdale crew when Bunk returns. Bunk’s case isn’t a homicide. Sergeant Landsman is in early, pissed off at McNulty for stirring up shit, he’s certain McNulty’s going to land up sent to the Western. McNulty makes his second big mistake of the episode and lets slip what he’d hate most: to end up on the boats. Landsman predicts that where he’ll be pretty soon, pulling the midnight shift. From demotion talk among the cops we cut to(A-story):
D arriving early for work at the towers, but Stringer’s waiting for him. D’s been demoted to the “Pit: -- the low rises. (Stringer offers the promise that he can work his way back up.) And yes, his uncle Avon knows. (B-story)
Upstairs, Major Rawls and Major Valchek meet in the elevator. Both are pissed at McNulty, who Rawls says is dead to him. (A-story)
Dee takes his first look at the pit. Tells Bodie and Wallace that he killed a nigger. (B-story)
Valchek gives Daniels the Barksdale file. (A-story)
Meet Bubbles and Johnny – addicts – making counterfeit money. Bubs is teaching the kid the ropes. Bubbles will be a series regular, appearing in all four seasons. His runner in this episode is only a four beats, but significant because it again shows us that this is a world turned upside down. Bubbles the drug addict is the only really decent person we meet. He cares about young Johnny and has nothing personal to gain from the friendship. (D-story – or maybe it’s a runner: how Bubbles ends up siding with the police)
D at work in the pit, learning the ropes, teaching his new crew a new way of “serving” customers. They discover that Wallace has been burned with counterfeit money. (B&D story)
Bubbles and Johnny are shooting up. Bubs tells Johnny he’s green and that he’s trying to give him some game. Johnny says he’s ready, he wants to make the buy next time. Bubs knows he’s not ready. (D-story)
Daniels goes in to see the Deputy of Operations, Ervin Burrell. Burrell explains the rules for the Barksdale case. No long surveillance etc. Just buy and bust to satisfy Phelan. (A-story)
McNulty visits a friend at the FBI. Special Agent Fitzhugh says that the FBI is abandoning drugs for terrorism. Jimmy witnesses a state of the art wire in action. (A-story)
Johnny runs the scam, fucks up and gets caught. The Pit crew catch him and wait for D. The crew understands chain of command, D’s in charge and they won’t act without his say so. D gives his tacit consent and they start kicking the shit out of Johnny. D doesn’t seem to have a taste for violence. (D-story)
Daniels gathers his team to explain how the Barksdale investigation will go down. He and McNulty get in a fight because McNulty knows that buy and bust won’t bring down Barksdale. Daniels reminds McNulty about the importance of chain of command. State’s Attorney Rhonda Pearlman tells them to get their act together. The antagonism and mutual distrust between Daniels and McNulty is set. (A-story)
As they drink at a bar, McNulty and Bunk discuss the terms of Jimmy’s divorce. Bunk notes that everyone is always mad at Jimmy. Jimmy knows he’s fucked. (Character and theme)
Meanwhile at the strip club, Stringer in his civilized way chews D out for not being hard enough on Johnny. D meets Shardene, a stripper. He’s interested, but not tonight. (Character and theme)
Kima goes home to her girlfriend and starts in on her homework for school. Kima is trying to better herself. (Character)
Bunk and Jimmy are still drinking. They are hammered now and near a train track. As Jimmy takes a leak on the tracks and a train bears down on him, he announces he’s going to investigate the Barksdale case the way it should be done. (A-story)
Bubbles is at the hospital when Kima arrives in answer to his call. Johnny lies in a bed, clearly very badly hurt from the beating. Bubbles is ready to squeal on the guys who did it. (A and D come together)
In the homicide office, Landsman assigns Bunk a new case. (A-story)
A crowd surrounds the murder scene when Bunk arrives. D is in that crowd. Bunk rolls the body to see the face. It’s the guard who testified against D. D recognizes him and walks away quickly. He doesn’t like the violence or what’s happened. (A & B come together)
So ends the episode.
A lot of story and a lot of characters set up. Note that beats from the same story thread are often clustered: several As in a row, almost all the Ds come together at the end. When we flip back and forth between A & B, it’s to juxtapose the two very different organizations (the crude world of the cops where caring is the wrong thing to do and the slick Barksdales who very much want their people to care and be careful). Even in this very complex story, the beats are grouped together to make the stories if not exactly accessible, more accessible. This pilot introduces lots and lots of characters. Some day we’ll come back to this series and look at character intros, but for now let’s just admire the brilliance of the structure and dream of the day when we can write a series a like this one.
